Sue, part two.

SUE is back by popular demand :]

Even though tennis is over, I’m still going to talk about her because she is possibly even more annoying outside tennis… but that’s a different story. Let’s talk tennis.

So Sue, being a hardcore amazing tennis player (NOTTTTTT), has several unique ways of getting ready for balls. First, there’s the kangaroo jump. Now my coach is always saying that you should do a couple ready hops right before your opponent returns the ball, I understand that, but jumps? I’m not even joking about this. She gets about three feet of air… AND SHE DOES TWO. I suggest we all start doing these jumps… maybe it’ll improve our play because Sue is definitely way better than any of us on varsity will be.

Another thing our beloved Sue does is bend over realllly far when she’s waiting to return the ball. She seriously acts like she’s about to return freaking Andy Roddick’s serve. You would think that with all this preparation, she’d actually hit the ball… but no. It usually flies out… or she completely misses.

But the greatest of all Sue’s tennis tactics? HER GRUNT. Oh. My. God. Now, I can understand grunting when you’re really slamming a ball back, but that is not what Sue does. Sue pulls her racket back and then taps it over. Suddenly you’ll hear a “gahrrhrhrhrhrh!” How could a hit as puny as that elicit a grunt out of someone? There’s literally no force behind it whatsoever! Oh well, I’m not here to judge. Maybe she has a really heavy racket…

Or maybe she just sucks. Yeah, that’s probably it. Oh Sue, you make tennis so much fun.

XO, Becca.

PS. Some people on the team were asking Sue about tennis next year and she thinks she’s playing singles… we’ll see about that.